The Conundrum of Money and Abundance: A hate-love relationship

So, what is money, anyway? A bunch of paper that has been given a value that supposedly is backed up by something harder to carry around, such as gold bars. It’s what took the place of trade (you have what I want but I have nothing to trade for it—here, have some money). It pays for goods and services, some of which we need, like food, gas, electricity and shelter. And really, we all know what money is. We can pull it out of our wallets and look at it.

So, perhaps the real question is, “what does money mean?”

Money is the root of all evil. Wanting it means you’re an associate of the devil It’s materialistic, it interferes with our spiritual growth, it’s power and control—someone else’s over us—like the devil… So, apparently, according to the general, Christian world view, the devil needs money… well, technically, he doesn’t but he knows we do, and he’s part of the earthly plane, just like the rest of us. A plane, if you will, that is made up of materials, like earth and stuff.

There’s a theme here… material world=materialism=materialistic. So, money is evil because it belongs to this plane. Blah, blah, blah.

And by the way, God doesn’t want or need money, being on an ethereal plane, so why should we? Well, we aren’t god, for starters. We live here on planet earth. And since we aren’t using trade and barter for survival, we need money.

So, what should money mean? When it comes right down to it, it can mean anything we want it to. I’ve spent years telling myself stories about money—stories that haven’t served me well. I could tell them now, but they were over five minutes ago.

Here’s what money means to me: Love. Compassion. Joy. Inner Peace. Making the world a better place because we can help others and ourselves. A tool for us to reach our highest good and lift each other up. Opportunity to reach our destinies more easily (there is nothing wrong with easy, either, that’s another myth and another post).

Of course, by now you are wondering, “really, Pen Umbra, what is the big conundrum here? Sounds like you figured it out? So?” So, here’s the conundrum: I finally started embracing what money means to me literally five minutes ago. And the conundrum is that up to that point, I let fear be my driving force around money and abundance, thus at this very moment, my financial abundance is looking pretty bleak. However, it’s just at this very moment, and five minutes from now, it’ll look better. And here is why:

In taking stock of my money and abundance, I realized how often people help me in ways that aren’t readily identifiable to my financial well-being. Friends and family take me out to dinner. My sister buys tickets to the Museum of the Pacific for my daughter and me. A friend is giving me a webcam and microphone she isn’t using so I can Skype with friends in New Zealand and elsewhere. Skype is giving me the opportunity to connect with these friends and possibly a life-partner. My dad is driving four and a half hours to replace a belt in my car so I don’t have to pay for labor. My sister is coming to visit over the weekend to take me out to dinner and help de-stress me. And all these things that people have given me means I didn’t have to pay for them myself. Yes, it’s an odd way of looking at financial abundance—money I didn’t spend on these things means more money for bills, groceries, gas, et al. And the bonus—getting to spend time with loved ones.

Yes, I am abundant! And grateful for it!